When asked for their goals and wishes, many people will reply:
I want to be happy
I want money
I want success
Goals have to be concrete and tangible. These are not.
No worries - that does not make these goals worth less or wrong. It is more about the question: Are they useful? Do they aid you in achieving your goals?
A vague goal is not tangible and that makes it hard to work towards it. That is one of the major reasons people do not achieve their goals and dreams. Vague goals generally only lead to vague results.
Goals on a high level are not able to create the strong feelings needed for achieving a complicated goal. And every goal worth achieving is scary. Even less will those general goals be able to give the right marching orders to your brain. Once your brain understands what you need and want it will help you get it.
Think of your brain as a stupid, mean, 3 year old wizard that is forced to grant you a wish and is trying to screw you if your wording leaves as much as a tiny loophole.
I am not trying to destroy your positive relationship with your brain. My point is: You need to be as exact as can be. And always (ALWAYS!) use positive words. "I will not fail again with .... " is a very negative statement and goal.
Not only will it remind your brain on the times you did fail and you will probably react as if the old situation was back. It will also only pick "fail" from your message and use that as the marching order. Again, think stupid, mean, 3 year old wizard.
How to set "right" goals
You want to figure out what your higher goal is. Instead of "I want success" think about what exactly you want to achieve that makes you feel successful.
"I want success". Try to feel it. You cannot feel it, right? How about "I want to speak in front of an audience of 200 people and receive standing ovations from the crowd cheering me". Ok, I understand that that is not YOUR goal. It´s not mine too by the way. But try to feel it.
Can you feel the sensation and pleasure?
Get as concrete as you can. Imagine how achieving your goal will make you feel and put that in words.
Feel what achieving your goal will do to you. Do you feel how much strengths and power you can gain from this?
Questions you can ask yourself to find out about your goals on a concrete level are
What has to happen for me to feel inner peace?
What could make me happy?
In which situation would I feel successful? How does this situation look exactly?
What exactly does "success" mean for me?
How would it manifest if I am successful?
What do I have to achieve to be successful?
How does a successful relationship look in my definition?
How will I feel when I dropped that weight?
These and similar questions will help you to define exactly what can make you feel the emotions you are aiming for.
Do not stop until you know exactly what it is.
We never know 100 % if something is really going to make us happen but everyone has an idea of the elements that are part of his ideal scenario.
What if my goals were wrong?
Should you find out along the way that what you first defined as your goal does not make you happy as you thought - no problem.
Sometimes we just have to try to know. But only if we take action we start moving.
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