Are you healthy? Do you live a fulfilled life? Are your relationships healthy and respectful? And how about your job? Are you doing it out of love or out of fear? Have you ever thought about it?
In life, we make decisions all the time. Often we find it difficult and our head is spinning:
I think that we make decisions in two very different ways and I have the question for you that might make the decision-making process much easier for you:
You can make decisions out of fear. An example: I stay in this partnership that makes me unhappy because I am afraid to be alone. Or: I will not quit my job because I am afraid I might not find a new one.And you can make decisions out of love: I want to find a new job that will allow me to do what I am passionate about. Or: I will stay in this marriage because my partner is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with even though we are currently going through a hard time.Do you feel the difference?What you could try when you have to make the next decision is asking yourself the following question:
If I go with the first option, will I do it out of fear or out of love? And if it's out of fear, what exactly am I afraid of? If it's out of love, what exactly do I love about it the most?If I chose option two, would I do it more out of fear or out of love?
These two can hardly coexist. If you are full with love, there is no room for fear. And if you are full with fear, there is no room for love. One is always real while the other is an illusion.
Sadly, we've been conditioned to be afraid. The conditioning starts when we are still children.
If we ask too many "stupid" questions in school, the other kids laugh at us. And if we gain too much weight, we will not be part of the popular girls group. We learn that we can't become a doctor if we do not pass a certain grade.
Negative self-talk and the rules of society further add to the problem.
One of the reasons why training your emotional intelligence is of uttermost importance, is that negative experience - any form of pain - changes our brain.
If we have been fired once, every time our boss calls us into the office, our brain will remember the past situation and our behavior will subconsciously change. That applies to any kind of pain - physical or emotional.
If I look at my past, the decisions I made out fear were not very good. Especially, when the fear of losing something or what other people might think were the motivator. If I made compromises, my decisions didn't fully satisfy me.
When I made decisions out of love, mostly good and even great things came from it. For instance, my self-employment that allows me to serve you right now. I decided against my instinct and against my strong need for security.
Obviously, to make decisions out of passion or love has risks. You can make the wrong decision and fail.
Generally speaking, I think decisions out of passion and love are better. The decisions I made out of love made me happier. And even if I failed, I did not feel regret.
If my motivation is fear, I am trapped in scarcity. I am looking for ways to avoid what I fear and I am not open to grow.
But if I make a decision out of love, I am not going the way of least resistance and I am opening myself up for opportunity.
Just think about it. What is your experience? How did fear-based and love-based decisions work out for you in the past?